Weight Loss – It’s what you DON’T Want that Holds You Back.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say the phrase “I want to lose weight” and yet that same person never does anything about it. Or they say they tried and it didn’t work. So why make the statement at all if you’re not serious about it.

junk_food

This sounds a bit ironic. They say they ‘want it’ but never do what it takes to get it.

So do they really want it, or do they just say they want it. OR do they even know what they are saying.

The reality is there is another piece of the puzzle that they are not admitting to themselves. And that is all the things they DON’T want. And it is precisely the things you DON’T want that hold you back from getting the things that you want. This applies to all areas of your life, but lets look at weight loss for this example.

Here goes:

You say “I WANT to lose weight”

But in your head you probably already have an idea of how to do this, like dieting, exercising more, cutting out alcohol, avoiding big dinners where you will overeat etc. But these are all things you really like and things you DON’T want to miss out on.

So you’re inner dialog in your head is saying:

I DON’T want to give up alcohol

I DON’T want to diet

I DON’T want to exercise

I DON’T want to give up fast food

I DON’T want to pay attention to my calorie intake

It’s all of the “DON’T” wants that out weigh the WANT, and thats why so many people talk a big game about weight loss but never get there. I’ve got to the point where I just ignore people who say this phrase because 90% of the time they’ve never considered the DON’T want list.

For every WANT you have in your life there is also a DON’T want list of things that go with it.

As soon as you can admit to yourself that the DON’T want list exists, then you can start working towards getting the things that you really want.

John

Posted by johnbarban in Weight Loss

15 Responses to “Weight Loss – It’s what you DON’T Want that Holds You Back.”

Girlwithnoname (Jackie) Says:
November 4th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I DON’T want to be unhealthy.

I DON’T want to be fat.

I DON’T want disrespect from others because of the lack of respect I obviously show myself (if I get wildly out of shape)…

I DON’T want to miss out on playing hard in the backyard with my adorable nephews…

I DON’T want to treat my body like a garbage dump … (goodbye McDonalds)

I DON’T want to die young from a horrible disease that could have been prevented with better self-maintenance…

… that’s how I’ve amended MY list. And ya know what? Works like a hot-damn!

GWNN
Raechelle Says:
November 4th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Brilliant post!
Thanks to Jackie for the link!
Ben Teal Says:
November 4th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Hey John… Nice post. I agree totally. I often say, “It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you won’t… so why not?”

The reasons why are all of those things that make the “don’t want to give up to make it happen” list!
Amy Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 2:36 am
John,
Clear to the point, as always.
The power of words that is: when we say ‘I can’t lose weight’, or ‘I have weight problems’, or ‘I’m trying to lose weight’ in fact we identify with the problem, embrace it – instead of letting it go, eliminating it.
But what would we do without this endless struggle with our own well-known comfortably set ghost of being overweight? Perhaps we should face the fact that it is not this prblem that sets us back in our self-respect, relationships and we are not ready for that.
So please, John, be a bit more forgiving.
johnbarban Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Amy,

I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying about the forgiving part. Can I ask you to perhaps re-phrase what you’re saying so I can understand better.

Thanks, I apologize for not fully understanding the first time around.

JB
Amy Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Well, it was a half joking way to refer to your saying tha you ingore some of the people who says they want to lose weight. I meant that sometimes it’s not that people deliberately don’t want to make the effort that it takes to lose weight. Sometimes there are deeper problems in the background, and I am sure discussion in any way can help to realize what these are. You’re being a sort of role model in weight loss, and the real facts and clear thinking you offer help a lot.
johnbarban Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Amy,

I totally agree. For some (not all) people food is a medication to help ease the pain/loneliness/stress/anxiety/whatever they are going through. It really is the only socially acceptable drug that we can use to band aid whatever our true underlying issues are.

Think about it this way: some people say they are ‘emotional eaters’ and eat when they are upset or stressed etc…this makes sense because food itself has a calming effect on your nervous system, hell if you eat enough of it it’ll put you right to sleep <– most anxiety or antidepressant drugs don’t work as good as food for this!

now imagine this following statements from the following people:

Alcoholic saying: “I’m just an emotional drinker”

Cocaine addict saying: “I’m just an emotional coke head”

Heroin addict saying: “I’m an emotional heroin addict”

I know this is an extreme example. But the point is the addictive nature of high fat/sugar/salt foods stimulate very similar chemical pathways and centers in our brains…the only difference is that food is a socially acceptable drug of choice as these others aren’t (well, maybe except for alcohol but that is a whole different story)

I believe that understanding nutrition or how nutrition ‘works’ is completely irrelevant to weight loss and getting control of your bodyweight.

The real battle is working on the underlying issues that get you into a state of overeating for prolonged periods of time and resolving them. <– this is the only way to experience true and lasting weight loss.

JB
Bobby Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
John,

I agree…..for the most part, nutrition isnt the main reason why people cant lose weight. I have recently been delivered from the stronghold of emotional eating or boredom eating. I was able to deal with this issue by fasting…so when I would normally run to food, I had to either deal with the real problems in my life or find another way to handle my boredom. Food can be a drug but the difference between food and the other named drugs like alcohol is that you cannot simply abstain from food. You gotta eat at some point to stay alive. Btw….great and awesome sight. I check in on here daily.
Michelle Says:
November 5th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Hi Bobby,

How long did it take you to be delivered from the stronghold of emotional eating or boredom eating ?I have not been able (fears ???) to complete a 24 hour fast but have been cutting back to 2-3 meals a day instead of the 6 meals that I have been brainwashed with for so many years.It is amazing discovering my reasons and triggers for eating, I am learning a lot and seem to face some fears when trying to do the 24 hour fast.I am making progress but it is with babysteps and very slow so that is why I am really curious about your timeline.
Michelle Legg
Bobby Says:
November 6th, 2009 at 12:11 am
I cannot say that I did it myself…I had to pray to God for strength. With that said, since I realized that it was a problem it has taken me about 2 months of a few fasts a week and one 48 hr fast to really feel like I had control. My problem is I liked to eat at night so I made sure that I fasted from lunch to lunch….this made me have to find different ways to deal with my problems.
Amy Says:
November 6th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Thanks, John! These are amazing facts about the chemical efect of food! I wish our culture and traditions would offer more support…
Amy
Michelle Says:
November 6th, 2009 at 9:28 am
thanks Bobby for your reply.Amen to the power of prayer.I keep working at it.Looking forward to my freedom soon.Congratulations on your victory
Michelle
Bobby Says:
November 7th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
John,

I wanted to share with you my fasting experience. Since October 25th I have been fasting for religious reasons. One meal a day…and I would have it at lunch time. about 1300 calories. I started at 239lbs on the 25th and 9 days later on November 3rd I was 231. Then for the 3rd till yesterday i did a full 72hr water fast. It was tough but I ended up at 227 lbs. Last night after getting done I binged (yea I admit it) on around 2500 calories worth of not so good food. After going to the gym today I am at 228lbs. Today is the last day of the fast so I will weigh again tomorrow morning and then in a week to let you know my progress as far as rebound.
Bobby Says:
November 7th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Oh yea and my bodyfat went down considerably, I can now see my abs coming through….probably went from 18% to 14%.
johnbarban Says:
November 7th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Bobby,

Great stuff. I found that a few bigger fasts really helped kick start the weight loss and build up some momentum.

Please do keep us posted here with your results.

JB