Do I look “Skinny”?
Yesterday we talked about the reaction other people will have when you successfully lose weight. In many cases the reaction is negative! Here are some pics of me at my lightest weight in the past 15 years, I”m about 176lbs in these pics and my buddies rip on me for being “Skinny” or “tiny” now…Do I really look “skinny”?
A quick browse of yesterdays comments make’s it apparent that the reaction other people have to seeing someone lose weight is rather bizarre. I believe that it is rooted in the insecurities of the person who is seeing you lose weight (in many cases they would also like to lose weight but haven’t managed to so far).
This can become and sinister situation when friends, nurses, doctors, health care providers and even family members can ex-communicate you or lecture you about the dangers of weight loss. This is an unfortunate side effect of their own cognitive dissonance, lack of understanding and in many cases disappointment/shame in themselves for not achieving the same results you have.
It’s a tricky road to go down when you start making real positive changes in your life while others around you do not. They may feel as though you are surpassing them and leaving them behind. Of course this is not your intention at all, you are simply doing something for you. And if you’re anything like me you want to bring them along with you.
Heck I want to bring EVERYONE with me (hence the blog, the Adonis Index, Venus index and what I do for a living)
Unfortunately it’s not possible to bring everyone. In fact it’s hard to reach even some of the them (even if it’s those people you know who desperately want to change)
As someone whose made a real change your best effort can only be to lead/guide others who are willing to follow, and then gracefully accept that the majority are not yet ready and are simply scared.
Once you accept this fact, it’s much easier to deal with their criticism as you will realize it’s not about you at all and only a projection of their own fears.
John
P.S. Ladies, I’ll be doing a teleseminar in the near future about the Venus Index to explain what we’re up to. I’ll post about it when we’re getting ready, prolly in the next 3-4 weeks.
30 Responses to “Do I look “Skinny”?”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Login
Register
A password will be e-mailed to you.-
-
Build A Perfect Body -
Estimate the circumference around
your shoulders and waist. EAT STOP EAT
Stop Dieting and Start LivingTRUTH ABOUT PROTEIN
March 9th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
John,
Having only started following your blog over the last few months as I began my own attempt at changing my dietary and fitness lifestyle (24lbs lost over the last 2 months through simple diet and exercise changes), I’ve found most of your posts on diet and exercise quite informative.
That said your last several posts, which have strayed into psychology and to an extent evolutionary biology (the revulsion to excess body fat posts), have been, to put it bluntly, less informative and in my opinion, off the mark in a few ways.
While I think you have a point (often there is a jealousy effect to the comments you are likely to receive while losing weight), your posts seem to stress this over the very real fact that there ARE people who become addicted to weight loss and fitness. Particularly in the medical community a doctor or nurse is more likely to come across someone who has body dysmorphic disorder, self-image problems, or eating disorders than someone who is already fit but looking to lose just that little extra to get their perfect bodybuilder body or whatever.
I should also point out that there is no ideal weight at which someone will “look their best”, only at which they will think they look their best. In most cases this probably also matches up pretty closely with them looking their best to other people as well, but this is not always the case (body dysmorphia and people with eating disorders being prime examples).
Everyone is going to have their own particular “ideal” weight/body fat percentage/any other physical feature that they like to see in others. While this is shaped to a large degree by our biology and our evolutionary history, it is also shaped dramatically by our culture and the “ideals” of those around us. I thought that was very much overlooked in your previous postings on excess body fat and our reaction to it.
March 9th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Dan,
I agree that a health care practitioner may come into contact with some people with body dysmorphia issues although I would highly doubt those people represent the majority of their clients (to be clear my stories are referring to GP’s who see 100′s of regular people without a real psychological body image issue and just want to lose a few pounds)
If you’ve read the Adonis Effect book you’ll know that there is extensive research on the ideal body shape and that it’s not as culturally different as one might assume and it’s within a relatively close range for most people in most cultures (for both men and women)
Sure each person will look unique when they’re at their ideal size…but most of us have a pretty narrow range when we look our best, and above and below this range we’ll be less attractive than when we’re in the middle of it. The cultural differences aren’t that dramatic either.
Again this isn’t my opinion, this has been studied and repeated in many studies in many cultures.
The ideal look isn’t a pinpoint bodyfat % or weight, but it is likely to be within a narrow range (perhaps 10-15lbs over or under for a 6’0 tall man)
John
March 9th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Dan:
I am quite sure that far fewer individuals are at risk for too much exercise than are at risk for too little, therefore, your condemnation is a tad harsh….
Further, as someone who has literally been castigated and told I’m “an idiot” and know nothing about fitness for revealing how Eat Stop Eat (ESE) has helped me, I can tell you that the persecution of people getting fitness results is VERY real, and is much more prevalent than your workout addicts.
“I should also point out that there is no ideal weight at which someone will “look their best”
Check out AdonisEffect.com.
John and his business partners actually have shown study after study from graduate sexual attraction journals that your above statement is patently incorrect. While individuals and cultures may differ from time to time on attraction preferences (little bigger, little smaller), unless this research is all completely false, I think John and the Brad’s have shown categorically that there is certainly a preponderance of women that prefer men in the Adonis-shaped range.
March 9th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Yes I think u look “skinny”, not skinny
Are Pilon and Howard going to take similar set pics?
March 9th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
I don’t know if you look skinny or not. Height? Still waiting on the leg pics (although, I know that’s not entirely important for the AI).
I guess I just don’t see how you’re doing it. You have more muscle than me up top, we are similar in body fat, yet I outweigh you by 10 lbs (I’m 5’11″). The only thing I can figure is that my soccer legs are just gigantic.
March 9th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
I hate the word “skinny”. It’s such an ambiguous, over used term that could have 5 different psychological impacts on 5 different people. For a lot of people, it simply means the absence of an obvious gut. For some, it means early Chris Rock-skinny; being a rail. It could mean having a narrow profile, but still being soft and devoid of muscle. And for the bodybuilding crowd, it could mean not being unrealistically giant. So, it’s hard to tell what people mean when they use the word.
You have a sick taper, John.
March 9th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Andrew,
I’m 6’0 tall. Leg circumference are about 24 inches (thickest part of thighs), So not huge, but not small. You could very well have much larger legs than me which might make up some weight difference. Also this is a fasted weight. I actually weigh more like 181lbs or so when I’m not fasted.
JB
March 9th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Hey there, You certainly don’t look “skinny” to me. When I picture someone as being skinny, they are are shaped like a string bean. You’re far from that!
March 9th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
John holy sh!t you look jacked!!! Nice work buddy!
March 9th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
John,
I’m now 35 pounds lighter than I was almost 4 months ago thanks to you, Brad, and Pilon. I get the exact same comments all the time since I started especially now that I’m so much leaner, I’m only 5’9 and I’m still far from my goal body fat percentage, I’m currently 205 pounds and since I started using the adonis index I have not lost any measurable amount of shoulder size currently 53 inches and I STILL get called skinny. My remedy? I just stopped caring about what all the people that knew me very well said and started paying more attention to what the ladies think and all the looks I’m getting now. HAHA!
March 9th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
John I think you look Great. If your skinny, I wished I was skinny like you! I wished ESE worked for me but I have a desk job and I think about food all day on fasting day and it drives me crazy. So I just try to eat less each meal just until satisfied and don’t eat after 6pm. Trying to find different ways to cut calories. my waist is stuck on 37 inches. My wife is one of these thin people that can eat 2000 calories a day and stay at 130 lbs. I have to watch every crumb. I am new, I would like to know how much you workout?
March 9th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Steve,
Thanks for the props.
I train 4 days per week. Might do a added day of walking or light cardio.
Our weight training sessions are pretty intense and my heart rate is up for almost the entire workout so I’m getting some sort of cardiovascular benefit during my weight workouts as well.
During the summer I do significantly more outdoor stuff like walking, and running.
JB
March 9th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
You don’t look skinny at all to me. What are your feelings about fiber in our diets and how much do we need? Is this something we should base some of our calories around getting enough of on a daily basis?
March 9th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Dave,
You can if you want. I think it’s easier to try and eat a interesting variety of food more than trying to hit a specific number of fiber, or carbs, or protein etc. Most of these things take care of themselves if you eat with variety.
JB
March 10th, 2010 at 12:06 am
I used to believe the bulking advice in the magazines, now I weigh 190 but in photos would look skinnier than you do!
Random note: I hate going into forums like at tmuscle where people post up pics similar to yours and these guys will have photos of themselves looking stronger and healthier than 99% of the population and probably as close to being as big as they can naturally and everyone on their tells them to go eat 5000 cals a day then come back when you’re “actually big”.
March 10th, 2010 at 1:48 am
You look good John. Keep up the great work.
March 10th, 2010 at 5:59 am
Hi John..
You dont look skinny at all, but i do believe you could still lose more body fat and go down to about 7-8% body fat. I think you are still a little of the 10% mark. But still looking good.
I get alot of the “you lost too much weight” But I know my body I am only 5’4″ but right now I weigh 136lbs and 124lbs is lean weight. I’m at around 10% body fat right now but in a few weeks I should be at around 7% body fat but trying to keep my lean weight at 124lbs.
Not bad for a 43 yr old guy..
March 10th, 2010 at 6:28 am
Nah you not skinny, you look like a Superhero, or like a Captain America or something like that
March 10th, 2010 at 8:55 am
Alex Says:
March 9th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
I hate the word “skinny”. It’s such an ambiguous, over used term that could have 5 different psychological impacts on 5 different people. For a lot of people, it simply means the absence of an obvious gut. For some, it means early Chris Rock-skinny; being a rail. It could mean having a narrow profile, but still being soft and devoid of muscle. And for the bodybuilding crowd, it could mean not being unrealistically giant. So, it’s hard to tell what people mean when they use the word.
x2 to that. I’ve gotten to the point where i almost take offense to people calling me skinny, because its so meaningless and is neither a compliment or pun and it happens on a daily basis at work. It’s just such a stupid word.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:14 am
I think You can still make your waist tighter (maybe not the good word and maybe its just seems so because of the shadows) I have similar waist line (but more sand-glass like, because I have more fat around) do You think its genetical or can be removed absolutely?
March 10th, 2010 at 9:42 am
Wood, I agree. I think in today’s society the revelation of a 6pac ab seems much more desirable than just achieving the AI. having said that if john goes for a tighter waist and his abs show through he will definitely have a hot body. i wonder if having a smaller waist (and consequently a smaller shoulder to fit the golden ratio) will have a better effect, esp if the 6 pac can be seen.
March 10th, 2010 at 11:03 am
Leg circumference are about 24 inches…
Heh. Your thighs are about as big as my waist. I dont think Im legally allowed to call you skinny.
March 10th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
johnbarban Says:
March 9th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
“Dan,
I agree that a health care practitioner may come into contact with some people with body dysmorphia issues although I would highly doubt those people represent the majority of their clients (to be clear my stories are referring to GP’s who see 100’s of regular people without a real psychological body image issue and just want to lose a few pounds)”
I agree that people with severe body image issues are probably in the minority of people that a GP will see, but I also think that people who are generally healthy but just want to lose a few extra pounds to achieve their ideal weight are also probably a minority. I was only commenting on the likelihood of someone falling into either of these groups being seen by a GP and their relative proportions. I would think that the former would outnumber the latter but I could be wrong. I am sure the largest group of people seen by a GP would be those who really should lose, at the very least, a few extra pounds. Perhaps it is this overwhelming majority of generally unfit people which is going to colour the reaction of many health professionals to those that they see as being generally already quite fit that gives them a tendency to potentially worry about them falling into the “body image issues” category. It’s just a thought really. Not discounting that discrimination exists, just a hypothesis as to why this might be.
“If you’ve read the Adonis Effect book you’ll know that there is extensive research on the ideal body shape and that it’s not as culturally different as one might assume and it’s within a relatively close range for most people in most cultures (for both men and women)
Sure each person will look unique when they’re at their ideal size…but most of us have a pretty narrow range when we look our best, and above and below this range we’ll be less attractive than when we’re in the middle of it. The cultural differences aren’t that dramatic either.
Again this isn’t my opinion, this has been studied and repeated in many studies in many cultures.
The ideal look isn’t a pinpoint bodyfat % or weight, but it is likely to be within a narrow range (perhaps 10-15lbs over or under for a 6?0 tall man)”
Oh I know that the data is out there, a friend of mine has done some similar studies. I guess to me a +/- 10-15lb range doesn’t seem that narrow for a man at 6’0″. My wording was probably a little sloppier than I intended. I think my main point is that while the data supports the Adonis Index I think that the data indicates preferences. Falling outside of that preference range isn’t necessarily equal to revulsion.
I would also think that the data, including historical accounts, would indicate that this preference range has fluxuated for men’s perception of women more so then men but I don’t know what your Venus Index work says about that and what the ranges would be.
March 10th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Dan,
Ok I’m following you now and that is what I suspected your point was.
I too could have been more precise with my wording. When I used the word repulsive I could have explained that it was in reference to a scale/continuum of increasing bodyfat…in other words 5 pounds overweight is hardly noticeable, 15 is still no big deal, 30 pounds is starting to noticeably affect the look and shape of a body…60 pounds is really affecting your look (angles and curves that define you as a man or woman start to disappear) and by all accounts reducing your attractiveness, 100 pounds overweight will render most people an amorphous sphere devoid of any resemblance of the original curves and shapes that define a man or a woman. At these extremely high levels of bodyfat men and women start to look the same, just big and round.
So my point was to illustrate this progression of gaining fat towards this undefined genderless looking shape.
JB
March 11th, 2010 at 8:15 am
Hi John,
I follow your point no as well and totally agree.
March 12th, 2010 at 10:57 am
[...] these pictures -> DO I LOOK SKINNY? I’m well within the normal BMI range…and I don’t think I look too small or [...]
March 12th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Weird, when I was your weight I had visible abs (<10% bodyfat) and I think I was smaller than you appear here. Mind if I ask your waist measurement? Is your limb length far from average?
March 12th, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Draino,
my waist is about 32 inches (give or take half an inch depending on hydration/food for the day)
Limb length I think is pretty standard…
JB
March 13th, 2010 at 5:19 am
Hey John,
you skinny? well it sounds more like jealousy, or people with weird aesthetical standarts. I think you look close to perfection, very nice pecs, perfect v shape, and I see you are on your way to an 8 pac! YOur muscle volume is great and you body fat percentual is very close to my personal ideal ( about 7%).
I am a fan of eat stop eat and this is going to be my lifestyle from now on. And I might buy the Adonis index someday!
June 26th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
I am 250 pounds,I think I am a mesomorph man,right now i’m trying to lose weight and achive my adonis index.I am curently doing p90x program at the moment and i’m trying to keep my calories intake at 1500 calories.My measuresment are 56 inches for shoulders and 43 for waist.How long do you think it’s going to take me to get to my adonis index? And is there any way to accelerate the process?